Someday you may lose your hair, you may lose your teeth, your money and even lose your mind. But one thing you will never lose – your good looks, coz you can never lose what you don’t have!
PUPIL – “Would you punish me for something I didn’t do?”
TEACHER – “Of course not.”
PUPIL – “Good, because I haven`t done my homework.”
I’m busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?
yo mama is so fat that when she steps on the scale it says to be continued.
Person#1: Why do you smell funny?
Person#2: It’s called Soap – didn’t think you would have smelt it before.
I’m sorry, I refuse to have A battle of wits with an unarmed person.
Wife – You hate my relatives!
Husband – No, I don’t! In fact, I like your mother-in-law more than I like mine.
Man – Haven’t I seen you someplace before?
Woman – Yes, that’s why I don’t go there anymore.
Man – Can I buy you a drink?
Woman – I think I’d rather have the money!
Man – Will you go out with me this Saturday?
Woman – Sorry, I’m having a headache this weekend.
Man – Is this seat empty?
Woman – Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
Man – So what do you do for a living?
Woman – I’m a female impersonator.
Yo mama is so ugly that they push her face into dough to make gorilla cookies.
You are dark and handsome; when it’s dark, you are handsome.