Iron Joke

A blond man entered the emergency room with his two ears burned. “What happened?” asked the doctor. “Well”, the man explained, “my wife was ironing clothing, behind my chair while I was watching TV. She put down the iron next to the phone and when the phone rang I answered the iron.”

“Wow that is terrible” responded the doctor, and what happened to your other ear?”

“Well” the blond guy responded “Right afterwards, the phone rang again!”

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Rating: 3.6/5 (193 votes cast)

Nervous Dad Joke

“Just relax”, the hospital staff kept telling Jim, but it was to no avail. Jim’s wife was in labor and Jim was a nervous wreck. After what seemed like a week, to both Jim and the hospital staff, a nurse came out with the happy news, “it’s a girl”, she cried. “Thank God, a girl”, said Jim, “at least she won’t have to go through what I just went through!”

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Rating: 3.3/5 (124 votes cast)

Pregnancy Joke

Brian’s stress level was at unsurpassed levels.  His wife Maggie was in labor and Brian was sure it was time to head to the hospital.  Breathing heavily, Brian grabbed the phone and called the doctor.   “MY WIFE, SHE’S READY, SHOULD WE COME?”  The doctor tried to relax the poor fellow, “just try to relax, now tell me how much time elapses between the contractions?”  “SHIRLEY!”  Brian screamed on the top of his lungs,  “HOW MUCH TIME IN BETWEEN THE CONTRACTIONS? TEN MINUTES? OK, TEN MINUTES IN BETWEEN!”

“And is this her first child?” Questioned the doctor. “NO YOU STUPID NITWIT, THIS IS HER HUSBAND!”

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Rating: 3.3/5 (173 votes cast)

Eye Doctor Joke

I was very scared about going to the eye doctor to get a certain procedure done on my eyes. The doctor tried to put me at ease but to no avail. It was after he finished with my first eye that I nearly jumped out of the chair. “There there”, he said “only one eye left!”

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Rating: 2.6/5 (214 votes cast)